I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
