she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
