Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Still dying that you shit outside
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize