Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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