Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize