I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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