Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
