im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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