HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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