Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize