Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
