did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
