It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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