I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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