so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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