We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
