Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
