A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
