Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
