uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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