I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
