Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Pants are for mortals
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
