the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
