I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
