if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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