if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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