he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
