I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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