help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize