That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
