did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
