He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
