We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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