escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
