I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
