He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
