He had one of those small greek statue penises
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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