Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
