So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
