Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
