STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
