If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
