Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
