I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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