North Korea, Best Korea!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
