The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
