Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
