The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize