My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
