butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize