i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
