First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
