It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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