I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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