Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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