4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Couch. On fire.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
