whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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