so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just high enough for therapy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
