I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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