What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
